im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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