your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
