He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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