doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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