I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
