She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
