i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
