We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
