call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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