okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
