so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
