he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
