I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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