You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize