just come out here and I will go home with you...
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
