it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
