those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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