So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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