Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
