return my video game
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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