Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
