We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
