Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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