hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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