I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
