I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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