Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
