found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
