were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
