After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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