Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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