he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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