Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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