U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize