everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
