My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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