Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
