butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
