think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
