I think I died a long time ago.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
