At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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