seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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