porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
