idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
