Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
