Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
