Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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