now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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