Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
