We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
