I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
