I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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