I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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