you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
