We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
