fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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