I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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